Psycho Psychic

Yes, this title will make sense to you in a minute. I was just reading Cari's evotion and it got me thinking about my weekend. Cari is talking about that direct line to God and being able to hear what He says.
Stay with me on this, because it may seem like I'm off subject for a little bit here. I don't know that my family is as aware as my friends are, but I've been known to have a very intuitive nature. Off the top of my head, I will ask someone about their plans to have children. Within a week I get a phone call that they are pregnant. That is my strongest intuition. Once in awhile I will say something that seems way off base and it happens. For instance, a few weeks ago I was at work and my coworker and I were cleaning. She was tired and I just wanted to go home for the day. We had 5 clients left between us. I made the comment, "Watch! None of our last clients will show up."( Is that better Tari?) Sure enough, we stood around waiting and none of the final clients showed up, none of which were related. Mallory, who claims to have psychic dreams, was majorly impressed. She asked me what else I can "see." Friends have questioned my "abilities" before, and wondered how much I could predict. As always, I tell them I don't predict anything. I say something and it may or may not come true. True I made a comment during my second year in the Army that it would be a good deal to have a child right before getting out of the Army so that they pay for it, yet you don't have to stay in the service. Did I plan it that way with Takyra? NO. Did I know that the comment I made would come true? NO.
When I was stationed in Korea, one night I could not shake the idea that my boyfriend, who lived in Germany, was hurt somehow. I thought maybe he was sick or injured. This was odd because he never got sick. I tried all day to get in touch with him. Finally, I got a return call. He had been injured in a basketball game and had to get stitches, and he came down with strep throat. My intuition was calmed after hearing from him.
The question is and has been; "Am I psychic?" NO WAY! When friends ask, I have an answer that I know is right. I only get my strong intuition about people I am closest too, most of which are Christians. I believe that my angels are talking to their angels and whispering in my ear what's going on. Seriously, I do believe that God makes us all sensitive to the people closest to us. We all get "gut" feelings about things. Those aren't really gut feelings, it's God whispering in our hearts. We don't sit there and say " Okay gut tell me what to do!" We pray and we go with what our heart tells us to do, but so many times we say it is "gut instinct."
Yesterday, I was in touch with my angels and God. Before the church service I had been thinking about my past and it was weighing on me. I was also thinking about possibilities for the service. I had no idea what the service was about before I got to church, but sure enough I was right on track. Deja vous! Where it went bad, I had also had a thought about someone going into the church and taking Takyra. Sometimes my thoughts can be a bit psychotic, I know. We went to church in the morning and everything was fine. I was a little more at ease. Last night mom took Takyra to the store before taking her to church, while I stayed home. The thought weighed on me some more. I lay in bed ( I needed a major nap because my shoulder pain had me worn out) and turned on the TV. It was a show about child abductions resulting in death. My heart was pounding. I called mom's cell phone at least 10 times trying to get her to answer. I called church, but she was not there yet, so I knew Takyra had to be safe so far. I just sat there and prayed, "Lord, please protect Takyra!" Mom never called my phone back, but she did manage to call her house phone and my cell, which were not the ones I called from. Hello, return a call to the exact number that called you. I had to tell myself not to be the frantic mom. I was questioning my instinct.
So, how do I tell if my intuition (angel whispers) are real or not? I don't. Times like yesterday where it is a matter of my daughter's safety make me crazy. I had to question myself the entire time wondering if I was a bad mom for thinking it is just a crazy thought and it won't happen so just relax. What if she would have been taken and I was still sitting in my room trying to call my mom? (I would have blamed her first before taking the blame myself)
There are times I can't stand the intuitive thoughts. I have to hold strong and know that God will talk to me and I have to be open to what He is saying. I pray that my bad intuition never comes true.
My daughter came home safe and happy from church last night. I gave her a big hug, told I loved her, and explain stranger safety to her AGAIN. Isn't it sad though, my big realization in my thought yesterday, anyone can walk in to a church. It is great that the church has open arms to greet them, but how many of us would question a new face wandering around the church? As I tell Takyra all the time, "It only takes a minute for someone to take a child, if even that long." we all tell our children to stay close to us when we go shopping, or to an event, but we walk into church and trust that everyone there is genuinely good and of Christian faith. We let our kids go wherever they choose inside the church, because we believe them to be safe inside those walls. The harsh reality, I have walked through my church in the evening. There are only a couple of classes in the basement at night and the hallways rarely see any traffic at all. The rest of the church is in the service or nursery. There are exits both up and down stairs at each end of the church (it is a small church with one hallway straight through the upstairs and downstairs). My thought could have easily become reality.
So I label myself the psycho psychic! It makes me crazy and puts all kinds of horrible thoughts in my head. I praise God for returning my daughter to me everyday safe from the horrible people in this world. I see the news and hear about another child being abducted, and I don't want to know that feeling of having my child ripped from my life.
I don't understand how a person can look at a child they have never known and think they have the right to take them out of this world. Tarisa and I used to run around our neighborhood all the time without a care in the world. I don't allow Takyra out of the culdesac and someone is always out watching her. I pray that when she is out of my sight, God keeps her safe until she is back with me again.

Mamma's don't let your babies grow up!!!

I was catching up with technology tonight and finally decided to transfer all the files on floppy disc over to CD. I know, I'm so not up with the latest. Most of them are pictures I took with a digital camera, which was purchased 7 years ago. For those of you who are like me and don't keep up, that's ancient for a digital camera, or any camera. I was checking out the pictures as I transferred them. Wow, time flies by so fast.
Kids grow up way too fast. For those of you with small children, under 2 years, this will happen no matter what you do. Warnings don't help. I tell all my clients' parents it will fly by before they know it. I was looking at the pictures and realizing that even I got warnings back then. But how do you slow time down? No amount of preparation makes your children grow up any slower. Once they get to age 5 you no longer want to slow things down, because they know too much for their own good and you can't wait for them to use that knowledge in college, far, far away. But then you look back at the pictures and you remember the sounds, the smells, and the INNOCENCE. To this day one sound melts me and makes me want to have another baby in a heartbeat. When a baby is hysterically crying and it seems like they are at the point of no return. Mommy or daddy finally finds the pacifier and plugs it in the baby's mouth. The next sound gets me every time. That noise of I want to cry but I want to suck this pacifier too. If you don't understand, you will some day when you are out doing errands or something and it will happen, then this story will click!
Takyra has grown up so fast. I look at the pictures and I can't believe how long it has been and yet how fast time flew. I showed Takyra the pictures and she even thought she was cute. She asked me why I let her grow up. I let her know I had no control over that. In the same breath I also reminded her that had she not grown up, she wouldn't be able to do all the things she is doing today.
Yes, when they are babies we hold them, confident that our arms and our love will protect them from everything. We pray every day that they are safe and that they stay close by us. Then the reality of it hits and we know we can't shelter them in our arms all through life and they have to take that first step (or crawl). We spend their lives teaching them and molding them so that they can grow to be strong, independent adults who make wise decisions. It is truly bittersweet.
They do grow fast. All we can do is watch and grow with them and cherish every moment.

"Train up a child in the way he should go and he shall not depart from it."Proverbs 22:6

Medical Mysteries

After 2 1/2 weeks of pain in my shoulder, I am still trying to figure out what is wrong with it. It hurts, but why? Today I had an MRI. Not a pleasant experience, but I was tough and shed no tears. Nothing like being frozen in one position for almost an hour, and the position they have you in is one that causes tremendous pain to the injured site. Hello! That's like someone walking up and seeing a bruise on your arm then poking it and saying, "Does that hurt?"!!! I tell the Dr. it hurts to turn or lift my arm. What is the first thing they do? Turn it and lift it up way high so they can see the painful expressions on my face. I'm sure that's exactly why they do it. So, I will have my results read on Wednesday. To top off the pain, the doctors won't be at my beckon call on my time schedule so I can ge the answers I want...NOW!
Last night, I was telling mom that after all this pain and frustration, they'll tell me nothing is wrong with my shoulder at all. I am known for my mystery illnesses and injuries. If I'm going to have something happen, it has to have unknown symptoms and end up being nothing at all wrong with me. Mom and I took a moment to laugh at my best medical mystery of all time. YIPES STRIPES!!! Tarisa might already be laughing with this one.
There is humor, information, and caution in this story so please take notes. One evening, after a day outside, the family noticed I had some marks on my face. They didn't burn, tingle, or itch, as a rash possibly would. They were just there. The next morning they were just as red as the night before. Mom decided to call the doctor. We went and he looked me over just to give a baffled expression and no diagnosis. Two more doctors with the same outcome. By the time we saw the third doctor the lines had faded a bit and turned more brown than red. He had no idea what should be done or what even caused the marks. I was stuck with multiple stripes down my face. As we left the third doctor's office and headed toward home (after mom had spent the past couple of days off work and worried sick about the skin disorder her daughter seemed to have) the clouds broke and the ray of sunlight shone on me. Mom could not believe we had just spent all this time trying to figure out my ailment just to find out the true diagnoses. I have this wonderful cousin, we'll call her Jennifer. I wanted to be just like her. She had all the friends, a gorgeous body, a tan, and most important, beautiful blonde hair. "How do I get my hair blonde like that?" "LEMON JUICE!" That's right. Lemon juice is supposed to make your hair lighter...And apparently your skin darker. When I had put the lemon juice in my hair, it had dripped down on my face . I burned on the spots where the lemon juice had striped it's way down my face. By the third doctor it had faded to a nice striped tan. Lesson learned. If you are going to listen to your cousin, or anyone else you mold your teenage years after, make sure there will be no side effects. If you use lemon juice in your hair, keep a towel handy to wipe off the drips, or just use the lemon juice all over your body so that you can achieve a nice even tan without stripes. (Please avoid eyes as it will burn) No I have not tried the whole body lemon treatment, but I figure if it's going to get on the skin you might as well cover the whole thing.
So, I am thinking back on all this, wondering if this is yet another medical mystery for me where the outcome is nothing or something so stupid, like I'm sleeping on it wrong or something. That would just be my luck. Not that I want to be out of work for a long time, I just want answers as to why my shoulder hurts so bad!!